


heteronormative bullshit

by astralgolds



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: "this some heteronormative bullshit" -adam, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Allura (Voltron), Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Fluff, Fullmetal Alchemist references, Gay Keith (Voltron), I cant think of anymore tags, Jealous Keith (Voltron), Light Angst, Like very very very light, M/M, Making Out, Not Canon Compliant, Oblivious Allura (Voltron), Oblivious Keith (Voltron), Oblivious Lance (Voltron), POV Allura (Voltron), POV Outsider, Smug Lance (Voltron), adam's alive bc i said so, allura came here to have a good time and shes honestly feeling so attacked rn, blink and you miss it - Freeform, i wrote this instead of doing homework, idk what the fuck happened to romelle tho sorry lmao, not betaed or proofread we die like men, pidge and hunk aren't rlly good friends oof, that's not relevant but i feel like i should say it, this takes place in a world where season 8 doesn't exist and season 7 kind of exists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 12:00:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18894214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astralgolds/pseuds/astralgolds
Summary: Everyone thinks Keith and Lance are vying for Allura's affections. They are wrong.





	heteronormative bullshit

**Author's Note:**

> guys seriously i feel so bad what happened to romelle

“So what’s it like always having two guys on your tail?”

Allura started, nearly dropping her sandwich in her haste to meet Rizavi’s eyes. “I’m sorry?”

“You know,” Rizavi smiled slyly. “Keith and Lance.”

Allura blinked, “What?”

“I mean, they’re both, like, really hot,” Rizavi fanned herself dreamily. “Keith was fine back when we were kids, but _damn_ he’s even more fine now. Don’t get me wrong, Lance was adorable too, but I didn’t expect that kind of glo up from him, y’know?”

“Uh, sure.”

“Keith’s still got that whole broody schtick though,” Rizavi considered, as if such a thing required a lot of thought. She leaned forward, putting all of her weight on her elbows, as if everything she was saying were a dirty secret. “But Lance has that endearing dorkiness every girl secretly wants in a guy. If Keith’s a badass, mysterious prince, then Lance is a cuteass knight who would die for you.” She sighed. “Damn, I wish I were you.”

“Okay,” Allura said because she didn’t have anything else to say to that.

“Lance had always had that one-side rivalry with Keith though,” Rizavi stated. “Did that, like, get stronger after they met you or?”

“Keith and Lance are very close,” Allura said shortly. Was Rizavi going to get to the point of her tangential ramblings or not? “Lance is Keith’s right hand man, and Keith would do anything to protect Lance. They would both do anything to protect all of us, actually.”

Rizavi gave her a strange look. “You…really like the both of them, don’t you?”

Allura quirked an eyebrow, “I love them. I thought that was clear.”

“Yeah…” Rizavi trailed off thoughtfully. “Sorry for bothering you then. See ya!”

WIth a flick of her indigo hair, she flounced off, leaving Allura to ponder her strange behavior.

* * *

“Hey, Allura.”

Allura turned around from where she had been sniffing the strange Earth flowers. “Oh, hello, Veronica. What brings you to the Atlas gardens?”

Veronica smiled awkwardly, fondly reminding Allura of Lance’s nervous habits.

“Nothing big.” She shrugged her shoulders in the exaggerated manner Lance always seemed to when he was trying to hide something. “I just wanted to talk to you.”

“What about?” Allura liked Veronica a great deal. Of course, Allura would love anyone her dear paladins loved, but Allura liked Veronica in particular a great deal. She was a very capable, ambitious, and strong-willed woman, brimming with the McClain charm on top of all of her many other admirable qualities. Quite frankly, Allura would take any opportunity to talk to this seemingly untouchable human.

“Oh, just, you know…” She scratched the back of her neck. “Boy stuff?” Veronica cringed a little at her own wording.

Allura blinked, “Really?” These humans kept catching her off guard, it seemed.

“Yeah, like,” Veronica fumbled. “Keith and Lance.”

Allura paused. Why did people keep bringing them up? “What about them?”

“Just,” Veronica sighed. “What do you think of them?”

Allura thought for a moment. “Well, I love them both dearly. Keith has always been the stoic type, but he’s always been so inexplicably kind. I don’t think I’ve ever quite met someone who was so _good_ , through and through. I’ve been stupid enough to treat him badly simply because of his heritage, and, for that, I am eternally regretful. But he handled it in stride, and had never once blamed me for it. He’s a bit awkward and brash, but he’s grown up a lot since I first met him. After we put aside our difference, we were able to find support from one another and understand each other, and I’m so proud to be his friend.”

Veronica was silent, pale blue eyes encouraging her to keep going.

“And Lance, well,” Allura blushed slightly. “He’s always been a flirt, as you know. I used to think that was the most annoying thing, how much he flirted with me. But, like Keith, he’s grown up so much since I met him. Frankly, I retract my earlier statement. Lance is and has always just been so good—Keith’s equal in practically every way, no matter what he thinks. He’s always been there to pick me up with I’m down, kiss my bruises and encourage me with his kind words. I’m so grateful to have him in my life.

“Honestly, they both have such big hearts. The picture of altruism and heroism, I might say. They’ve done so much for me, and I can only hope to repay them one day for all of their kindness.”

“You really love them, don’t you?”

“I love them so much. I hope they never doubt it.”

Veronica’s eyes took on a strange glow, “Please, just be gentle with them. They adore you Allura. They adore each other. I would hate to see what would happen to them, to all of you actually, if you are unable to choose.”

“I don’t understand.”

Veronica gave her a sad look, before turning heel and leaving.

* * *

The strange behavior persisted, only it didn’t just end with Rizavi and Veronica. All of the MFE pilots and Garrison underlings would repeat the same confusing twist of words. It had even begun to affect her paladins.

Currently, Allura, Hunk, and Pidge were seated in a corner of the Atlas, eating dinner. Lance and Keith were absent, probably due to the sword training regime Keith was so insistent on for Lance, and Shiro was off with Adam, making up for lost time. Pidge was tinkering with a small device, occasionally glancing up and heaving an angry sigh in her mother’s direction, while Hunk chewed his food thoughtfully and made commentary on the quality of it.

Allura herself was simply reading a fascinating Earth novel Keith had recommended to her. Keith and Allura had always privately shared a common interest in romance novels, but in Space they only had access to the books within the castle’s database. Once reaching Earth, Keith had excitedly given her all of his favorites, making her pinky-promise to read all one hundred twenty-one of them so they could talk about them.

Allura smiled to herself; Keith had developed a habit of making her pinky promise to do important things, a habit he had definitely learned from Lance. Those two were so good together, especially after settling into their new roles in the Red and Black Lions. Thoughts slightly influenced by the romance from the books, Allura distantly wondered just how good Keith and Lance could be if they fell in love…

“Sooo… Allura…” Hunk interrupted her thoughts.

“Yes?”

“Whatcha smiling about?”

“Oh, I just thought of something sweet about Lance and Keith.”

Pidge looked up, leaning on her elbow to smile at Allura slyly. “Lance and Keith, huh?”

“Ugh, you both have been infected as well?”

“Infected?” Hunk’s eyebrows disappeared underneath his hairline.

“ _Everyone_ has been asking me about them,” Allura groaned. “I don’t understand why. It might as well be a _disease_.”

Pidge and Hunk exchanged a knowing glance.

“They’re just curious, probably,” Pidge shrugged.

“You _are_ very close to both of them, after all,” Hunk agreed.

“I’m close to Shiro as well,” Allura grumbled. “Yet no one interrogates me on my opinion of him like everyone seems to _love_ to in regards to Lance and Keith. I love them obviously. I love all of you!” She threw her hands up in frustration. “Isn’t that enough?”

“You really love them in the same way you do all of us?” Hunk furrowed his brow.

“Of course I do,” Allura sniffed. “Why would you insinuate otherwise?”

Pidge rolled her eyes, amused, and Hunk chuckled quietly.

“What?” Allura questioned defensively. She crossed her arms on the table and flopped her face onto them dramatically. “Ugh.”

“You’ve been spending way too much time with Lance.”

“Oh, hush, Pidge.”

* * *

 

It turned out that the only way Allura would be safe from questions about Keith and Lance was by spending most of her time with them anyways. After all, they wouldn’t ask her for her opinion on them, at least to her face.

“Listen, I would _totally_ be Risa,” Lance exclaimed. He wiggled his bare toes, which were currently in Keith’s lap, causing the other man to wrinkle his nose. Allura hid her smile behind the book she was pretending to read. They were seated on the couches in the lounge, now. Allura sat across from the both of them, giggling at their antics.

“No way,” Keith retorted. “Roy’s a huge flirt who never says what he actually means. He clearly loves Ed like a son, but he just beats around the bush by making fun of him all the time. Remind you of someone?”

“I do _not_ love you like a son, mullet,” Lance scoffed. “That’d be so fucking weird.”

“I’m not saying that you made fun of me for years because you love me like a son or something,” Keith stated matter-of-factly, ignoring Lance’s indignant cries that _it was a rivalry, i did_ not _make fun of you for years dammit Keith_. “I’m just saying he has the same mannerisms.”

“But I’m totally the badass sharpshooting right hand woman,” Lance cried out. “Man. Whatever. Same difference. And _you’re_ the cool stoic-y fire leader guy.”

“Amazing description,” Keith deadpanned. “Who’s Allura then?”

“Olivier Armstrong, obviously,” Lance huffed.

“Olivier’s too mean to be Allura,” Keith pouted. Lance kicked his chest. “Ow! What the fuck, dude?”

“Allura, what do you think?” Lance demanded, crossing his arms. “Since Keith here is clearly a heathen.”

Allura giggled, setting down her book, “Is this that Earth animation you made me to watch? Fullmetal something or other?”

“Yeah!” Lance threw his arms up dramatically. He moved his legs so he could fall face-first onto Keith’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around him from the side and burying his face in the crook of his neck. His voice was muffled when he said, “The best damn anime of all time.” Keith snorted.

“Hmm,” Allura tapped her chin pensively. “Well, if you want my honest opinion, neither of you are Roy or Risa. I would say that Lance is that Ling person, and Keith is Lan Fan. I would be Risa, and Shiro would be Roy—without the romantic undertone, of course—and Pidge would be Ed, Matt as Al, and Hunk can be Winry.”

Lance’s jaw dropped, “Allura, you’re a goddess.” He launched himself across the lounge to scoop Allura into a huge hug, cradling her princess style while both of them giggled maniacally. Allura peeked at Keith from the corner of her eye, and saw that he was looking decidedly at the floor, knuckles white from where he gripped the couch cushion tightly within his deadly fists. Maybe he felt left out? Before Allura could take action though, Lance spoke up.

“Keith,” Lance said, expression grave. “I’m cradling Allura in my arms.”

Keith’s expression, though guarded, softened slightly when he looked at them. He flipped Lance the bird. “Fuck off, asshole.”

“Allura, ohmigod,” Lance stared at her, pure joy permeating his features. “You have to cradle Keith now! To complete the circle!”

“Wouldn’t that be a triangle?” Keith inquired. He was ignored, but soon his face filled with horror at Lance’s suggestion. “Wait, no!”

“Allura, I choose you!” Lance cackled, tossing her lightly in Keith’s direction. With a slight glare meant for Lance, Allura gracefully got to her feet and made her way to the Black Paladin, sweeping him into her arms and cradling him like a baby slitheen egg.

“I hate this so much,” Keith grinned.

Allura laughed, “You love us, though.”

Keith glanced behind Allura, eyes sweeping over Lance, who had laughed himself near to tears, crumbling on the ground. His eyes were softer than Allura had ever known them to be.

“Yeah,” he said. “I really do.”

* * *

 

Unfortunately, all of the time she spent with the duo only led to _more_ questions. Except that now, instead of actually asking her what was on their minds, people just looked at her.  It was almost worse. Wherever she went, people would look at her, eyes boring into soul. _Who will you choose?_ Why would she need to choose? Why was that the question on the tip of everyone’s tongue? She wanted to scream, rip her hair out, cry. She felt like her value was being reduced to how she answered a question she didn’t know the reasoning behind.

So she did what any rational person would do in her situation.

She went to Shiro.

“I just don’t understand,” Allura whined, pouting. She was sprawled out on Shiro’s bed. Shiro himself was curled up in Adam’s lap on the loveseat, while his aforementioned boyfriend—fiancé? Allura was never informed of their official label—thumbed through the pages of his vintage magazine.

“It is a frustrating situation,” Shiro agreed. “On an unrelated note, you have the Lance whine and the Keith pout down pat. You might as well be their lovechild.”

Allura laughed airily, “Yes, I’ve been forced to spend a lot of time with them as of late. Even Pidge and Hunk keep looking at me like… like… I don’t even know how to describe it! It’s just infuriating!”

“You could always spend time with Coran,” Shiro suggested.

“We share living quarters,” Allura frowned. “I love him like a second father, but I can’t be around him every second of the day. His stories can be quite long winded, and I’m used to being on my own with my mice.”

Shiro chuckled, “Yeah, I can see that.”

“But it’s not like I dislike spending time with Lance and Keith,” Allura continued. “I just always feel as though I’m interrupting something when I’m around them. They act differently than when they’re around you or Hunk or Pidge.”

“Is that so?” Shiro’s eye took on a strange glint.

“I hate how you seem to know something because now I know you’re not going to tell me,” Allura groaned. “And it’s going to _kill me_ , Shiro. I’ll _die_.”

“Now you really sound like Lance,” Shiro muttered.

Adam sighed, dropping a kiss down on the back Shiro’s neck.

“Your entire dilemma sounds like a shit ton of heteronormative bullshit,” he offered. “Not your fault, but.” Adam shrugged.

“Thanks?” Allura said, unsure of what he meant.

“Honestly though, Allura,” Shiro said finally. “I think the best you can do in this situation is wait the entire thing out until it blows over. It shouldn’t take too long, if I’m right.”

“So you _do_ know something,” Allura accused.

“I have a hunch,” said Shiro. “Now please get out, princess. Adam and I are going to go to bed.”

“Oh, are we now?” Adam said slyly, making Shiro blush.

“It’s eight thirty,” said Allura. “Keith’s right. You _are_ getting old, Shiro.”

“I love aliens,” Adam said randomly. “They are so cute. Keith always did this, too, remember?”

“Keith always did what?”

“Good _night_ , Allura,” Shiro said tiredly.

“Oh, fine.”

* * *

 They’re in a meeting—the tired, it’s almost bedtime type of meeting that tends to sap the most energy out of everyone—when Lance and Keith start arguing. Allura watched them with wide eyes—Lance and Keith hadn’t fought like that in a long time. It had been decaphoebs since since sharp tongues had dulled and hateful glares had softened, yet they reemerged with a vengeance, sharper and more hateful than ever and armed with decaphoebs of trust to turn around.

Allura’s eyes flicked around the room worriedly, but most seemed…unconcerned. Pidge twiddled with figurine, programming it quickly to bother Hunk, who side eyed the argument but otherwise simply ignored it in favor of reprogramming the figurine to send messages to Pidge. The MFE pilots exchanged amused glances, Griffin in particular was rolling his eyes and yawning. Coran blinked at them furiously, but Allura wasn’t so sure if he was paying attention at all. Veronica simply frowned. Only Shiro (and Adam, though to a lesser extent) seemed to feel an iota of the worry Allura felt, except he seemed…resigned.

“Splitting up the lions to reach as many galaxies as possible is a calculated decision. It makes the most sense and covers the most ground.”

“Except for the fact that Voltron only works if we’re all together!”

“Why would we need Voltron to subdue a few remaining Galra ships? Any of the lions by themselves could take them on easy. Plus, they’ll each have an MFE pilot with them.”

“The MFE’s have a fraction of the power each individual lion does and you know that, Lance.”

“Exactly! The lions are powerful enough on their own, so there’s no need for all of them to be in the same place at once! It’s counterproductive to our cause!”

“Why are you so insistent on splitting up the team?” Keith was yelling.

“Why are _you_ so insistent on not fucking listening to me?” Lance was yelling too.

“Because your idea is stupid!”

“I thought you would like it! I mean, you _love_ splitting up the team.” 

“Why would you say that?” Keith’s voice cracked.

“Oh, you know, series of messed up coincidences. Leaving for the Blade. You know. The works.”

“Shut the _fuck_ up! You just wanna frolic off on a distant vacation planet with the princess!” 

Allura slammed her hand down on the table, “Enough!” Everyone jumped, staring at her with wide eyes.

“Lance, Keith, you lead Voltron,” she growled. “If you cannot cooperate, the entire infrastructure of our team falls apart. I expected better of you, especially in recent decaphoebs, and I will not tolerate this type of behavior from my paladins. Now, go to your chambers, and learn how to get along. _Again_.”

Keith huffed and Lance scoffed. They both crossed their arms, perfect mirrors of one another, before trudging out the door and grumbling under their breath.

“Can she even do that?” whispered a voice that sounded suspiciously like Nadia Rizavi.

Pidge sniggered, elbowing Hunk and mouthing something indiscernible. Shiro heaved a heavy sigh, leaning against Adam like a lifeline.

“Meeting adjourned,” hissed Allura before slinking away.

“Is that even within her jurisdiction?” Allura heard Griffin demanding.

Shiro’s amused response: “Well, she _is_ a princess.”

The chatter of the boardroom fading with distance, Allura stared at the ground, willing it mentally to crumble beneath her feet. Reasonably, nothing happened. Allura’s mind was running a mile a minute nonetheless. Keith’s comment had come out of left field. Her and Lance? As far as she could tell, Lance’s feelings for her had dissipated completely phoebs ago. What was Allura missing from the equation?

 _CLANG_.

Allura paused. That had come from the kitchen. Maybe it was Keith and Lance? She opened the door quietly, slipping in to assess the damage. Instead of the mass disorder she was expecting, however, all she found was a bowl of cereal flipped upside and leaving a small puddle of milk and cheerios to pool around the rim flow toward the bottom edge of the countertop. Her eyes flicked upward and… oh.

There were Keith and Lance.

Except, uh, Keith was slightly obscured by Lance’s long, thin (broad only in his shoulders) form pinning him against the wall and making out with him furiously. Like, wow. Allura’s cheeks flamed. The sounds they were making… Keith especially… were, uh, quite obscene. Lance’s hands trailed down from where they had been framing Keith’s face to grab underneath Keith’s thighs, lifting him up like nothing. Keith, in turn wrapped his legs around Lance’s waist. Allura covered her eyes with her hands, but was otherwise paralyzed. Saints, she felt like a voyeur.

“Lance,” gasped Keith. “You’ve— _hah_ —been holding out on me.”

Lance pulled away, panting, “Does Loverboy Lance live up to his title?” Allura could _hear_ the smirk in his voice.

Allura heard the gentle smacking noise of Lance making his way down the column of Keith’s throat, punctuated by Keith’s sighs and sharp breaths. _Oh_ , how Allura wanted to curl up into a little ball of steam and _evaporate_.

“Allura!” Keith yelped.

“What?” Lance shot up, dropping Keith with an audible thud. He whipped around to see the embarrassed girl. “Allura, what the fuck?”

Allura couldn’t seem to remove her hands. Or move in general. “I’m sorry,” she squeaked. “I didn’t mean— it wasn’t my intention to— I’d best be going now.” She attempted to leave, but her legs felt cemented to the floor.

She could detect the sound of their gentle footfalls as they made their way over to her. Gloved hands tugged at her arms and let them hang loosely by her sides, but her cheeks still burned with embarrassment.

“I-I didn’t mean to,” Allura stuttered out nervously.

On her other side, Lance patted her on the back, “It’s fine. We know you didn’t mean to. Uh. Walk in on us.”

Keith glared at him, before turning back to Allura. Ever the blunt one, he said, “Why didn’t you just leave when you saw us making out?”

Ignoring Lance’s scandalized gasp, Allura replied, voice still so terribly squeaky, “I was s-surprised. Especially after that stunt you two pulled today during the meeting.” She regained her bearings, straightening her back and glaring at the both of them, “What _happened_ to you two? And how did it… get here?”

Lance smirked, “Yeah, Keith, what happened?”

Keith’s face turned pinker than the juniberry arrangement on the countertop. “Shut it, Lance.” He avoided both of their gazes, “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Apparently, everyone thinks we’ve been fighting over you,” Lance informed her. “And they’ve chosen teams. Keith overheard a couple of them being ‘Team Allurance’ and got really jealous.” His voice was _so_ smug. “But then he did that thing where he becomes all self-sacrificial for no damn reason and started avoiding me for, like, three days, which doesn’t really sound like much but it’s very noticeable when you’ve been attached at the hip to someone for months, so that I could go after you freely or something.”

“Uh huh,” Allura said, mildly stupefied by this strange turn of events. “Wait, is that why people keep asking me who I’m going to choose between the two of you?”

“And then I got all insecure about him leaving me again, and—wait, what?”

Keith scoffed, “They’ve been doing what now?”

Lance threw his head back and started guffawing, “Holy shit, they know that Keith’s gay, right? Like, that’s a thing most people should be aware of?”

“Griffin and I had a thing when we were like sixteen,” Keith said. “But, now that I think about it, I’ve never explicitly said I’m only into guys.”

Lance squawked, “I’m sorry, what’s this about you and Griffin? Because I feel like—”

“Everything makes so much sense now!” Allura exclaimed. “Why people keep coming to me and telling me how lucky I am, why Veronica told me to be gentle with both of you, why Shiro has had this knowing look for so long, and why none of them took your argument seriously earlier! They thought you were fighting over me! And Shiro knew you two loved each other!”

Keith and Lance blinked. “That was a lot of information,” Keith said.

“…and I’m not sure we follow,” Lance finished.

Allura gasped in delight, “ _That’s_ why Adam said my problems were heteronormative bullshit!”

Keith barked out a laugh, “That sounds like Adam.”

“Are we just going to ignore the fact that Allura just cussed?” Lance paused, “Wait, who says I love Keith?”

Keith and Allura stared at him, dumbfounded.

“You don’t love me?” Keith said softly.

“What?” Lance squeaked. “Nononononono, that’s not what I meant at all— I just meant that—- I never stated it, like, explicitly or whatever and I just—”

“Lance,” said Keith dryly. “I’m just fucking with you. I know what you mean.”

Lance gazed at him adoringly, “I love you.”

Keith smiled, “I love you, too.”

They leaned in for a gleeful kiss when—

Allura clapped her hands in delight. “Oh, you two are just adorable!”

They both flushed, snapping back into their original positions and pointedly avoiding all eye contact.

“Well, now that that’s settled,” Allura smiled. “I’ll leave you to it. Good night, Keith. Good night, Lance.”

“‘Night Allura,” they chorused. They clasped hands, fingers intertwined, as Allura made her way down the hallway. When she reached her bedroom, she shut the door, sliding down against it and staring at her palms. She giggled gleefully, “Good night, stupid rumors.”

* * *

Allura enters the training room the next day feeling lighter than ever. Pidge eyes her in amusement, “What’s got you so peppy, princess?”

“Oh, nothing,” Allura beamed.

She vaguely heard Pidge mutter to Hunk, “Think she made a decision yet?”

“Ten gac says it’s Lance,” was the response.

Allura approached Shiro, “Any idea what’s on the agenda today?”

Shiro chuckled, “You really miss being the one arranging them, don’t you?”

Allura preened, “I’m a princess. I make the rules. Keith has no right.”

Shiro laughed, slinging a towel around his neck, “Absolutely. Oh, here they are. Did they fix everything up last night?”

Allura shrugged, eyeing Lance and Keith as they advance toward the training area. “You could say that.”

“Okay, now _you_ know something and you won’t tell me,” Shiro accused.

“Perhaps,” said Allura.

Shiro groaned, “This is going to kill me.”

“ _Now_  who sounds like Lance, hm?”

Keith clapped his hands, “Alright, everyone, circle up! The MFE pilots are going to be using half of the room today so make sure to watch out for them. We’re going to be doing partnered combat training, hand-to-hand. So no tasering, Pidge. It’s gonna be Allura with Hunk, Pidge with Shiro, and Lance with me. Got it?” At their affirmation, Keith continued, “Alright. Three laps to warm up.”

Hunk groaned, “Oh, come on, we already stretched! You two were the ones who came late.”

Pidge nodded in agreement, cocking her hip to the side, “Honestly. You guys just want to impress Allura.”

Lance stared down at her in disbelief, dropping his water bottle and letting it clatter to the ground. Keith dragged a hand down his face, muttering “oh my fucking god, are you serious?”

Lance heaved a huge sigh, “Okay, that’s it. We’re ending this now.”

Allura looked around, the ordeal seemed to attract the attention of everyone in the room. From the MFE pilots to the other Garrison officials meandering about.

Shiro mumbled, “Is it finally happening?”

Lance faced his boyfriend, grabbing his shoulders forcefully. The entire room seemed to hold its breath.

“Keith,” Lance breathed. Then, much to the shock of everyone besides Allura, he dived in for the sloppiest, grossest kiss possible. Keith grinned, wrapping his arms around Lance’s shoulders and tugging him closer. Lance’s hands moved downward, groping his ass gratuitously (because, well, it's _Lance_ ), causing Keith to pull away harshly and slap his chest, laughing.

“Okay,” Keith said breathlessly, lips bitten and red. “Now do your fucking laps.”

Everyone was openly gawking at them now.

Then, Shiro said, “Fucking finally.”

Allura grinned, “I know, right?”

Off to the side, water bottle in hand, Adam said smugly, "Heteronormative bullshit, am I right?"

**Author's Note:**

> new drinking game: take a shot everytime i say lance and keith or keith and lance as if they're a single entity lmao
> 
> this is honestly the most i've ever written for one story i'm a Severe under-writer


End file.
